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FAQs

Please feel free to ask any further questions 

~ Tovah Shapiro, Shidduch.im Shadchanit, London, UK

Frequently asked questions

What is SHIDDUCH.IM?


SHIDDUCH.IM is a London based organisation that is focused primarily on helping Frum singles living in the UK and around Europe to find their other half. SHIDDUCH.IM combines the traditional Torah values of meeting one's ‘Bashert’ (‘destined other half’) through a ‘Shadchan’ (Matchmaker) with the advantages and accessibility of today's technology.




How does SHIDDUCH.IM work?


SHIDDUCH.IM has brought together a collection of Shadchanim from communities around Europe and given them the ability to view thousands of singles on one online database, creating a unique, efficient and up-to-date system. Singles details are confidential and secure and viewed only by a team of selected, trained Shadchanim. Members can choose whether to share their profile with a number of Shadchanim on site or only a specific Shadchan of their choice, who will assist them in finding their Bashert. Members have various privacy options and can choose how involved they wish their Shadchan/im to be at any time. Match Suggestions are sent by e-mail and members respond by accepting or declining through the system, giving feedback to their Shadchan as to why a match may or may not be appropriate.




What does SHIDDUCH.IM offer?


SHIDDUCH.IM offers members access to a wide range of Shadchanim, catering for different ages, backgrounds and Hashkafa (religious outlook) - in the UK, Europe and worldwide. SHIDDUCH.IM offers members the personal touch of a Shadchan in their own community who gets to know them, networks for them and helps them to find their 'Bashert' ('other half'). SHIDDUCH.IM offers various privacy options, giving all members the ability to choose how many shadchanim can view their information and share their profile with potential matches. Members can also choose to always be sent a match suggestion first and only after approving and accepting the suggestion will one's profile info be sent to the potential match for review. SHIDDUCH.IM offers members the freedom to choose how involved they want their Shadchan to be – from suggesting potential matches, helping to arrange dates, or being a traditional 'go between' every step of the way.




Why do we need SHIDDUCH.IM?


Traditionally, every Shadchan has their own 'file' of singles, usually based on the section of community they are themselves associated with. This limits Shadchanim to suggesting matches only between people with whom they are acquainted, often requiring singles to meet with many different Shadchanim in order to do their ‘hishtadlus’ (personal effort) and increase their chance of finding their Bashert. Although this Shidduch system has traditionally been successful within our communities for many years, in today's world of instant global communication, the need to update the system has become a necessity. The vision to create a system whereby all Shadchanim have the ability to view all available singles in multiple communities at the touch of button has now become a reality! SHIDDUCH.IM gives every Shadchan the ability to search for each person's Bashert wherever they may be in the world, whilst still maintaining the traditional values and personal touch of meeting through a Shadchan and all that it entails.




Why is SHIDDUCH.IM connected to the 'Saw You at Sinai' site?


When creating SHIDDUCH.IM, it was felt beneficial to connect with the datatbase of an established worldwide organisation to maximise potential. Therefore, SHIDDUCH.IM has joined forces with the U.S. based Shidduch Site, 'SawYouatSinai'. This is a database of singles from around the world who are looking to meet their Bashert through the Shidduch system. The merge with SYAS and use of their sophisticated software gives our members the accessibility of a worldwide network of singles and Shadchanim combined with the personal touch of their 'home-based' Shadchan.




What is the difference between SHIDDUCH.IM and SYAS?


SHIDDUCH.IM is focused primarily on UK and Europe based singles, with the emphasis being on members having an authentic and personal relationship with their Shadchan, giving more potential for accurate suggestions, assistance through the dating process and more success as a result. All members on SHIDDUCH.IM can select one or multiple Shachanim to network for them whilst still being visible to other Shadchanim on site. Additionally, SHIDDUCH.IM members can also choose whether they wish to share their profile information with: - ALL Shadchanim on the combined International SYAS network. - ONLY Shadchanim on the Europe based SHIDDUCH.IM network. - ONLY A Specific Shadchan of their choice. With the first two options, Members can choose to have one or two personal Shadchanim networking for them whilst at the same time receiving match suggestions from other Shadchanim on site. With the third option, Members will be private to one Shadchan only, no other Shadchanim are able to view their profile and they will only receive suggestions from their selected Shadchan.




How did SYAS and SHIDDUCH.IM develop?


Over the last few years, there has been the development of online dating sites designed to allow Frum singles to network themselves, opening a door into independent worldwide dating that had previously been unattainable. Although this method of finding one's Bashert has been successful for many, it has been equally unsuccessful and frustrating for many others and whilst the appeal of a worldwide database was an attractive prospect, it appeared that a large majority of frum singles were uncomfortable with the idea of other singles being able to view their personal details and then being in contact directly. The idea to combine these forces was initiated a number of years ago by an American organisation called 'SawYouatSinai' - an online database of singles that was only viewable by their selective team of matchmakers. It has been extremely successful, with an ever growing database of over 30,000 singles made up of various connecting networks worldwide, including 'YU Connects', 'Nishmat Network', & 'See you in Israel'. Since it's inception, over two thousand singles having met their Bashert through the site and there is a constant stream of newly engaged couples every week. However, being U.S. based, SYAS has not really been an accessible or viable option for most singles in the UK for a number of reasons... 1. Although SYAS was designed to offer a personal matchmaking experience, most of their Shadchanim are based in the U.S., and therefore have only been able to offer UK members match suggestions without first meeting in person (a phone interview often having to suffice). This cannot compare to the personal connection and relationship with a Shadchan in one's own hometown. 2. For most people, long distance dating is simply impractical (it's a long way to go for a coffee!) or are unable/unwilling to consider moving abroad due to family, work or communal ties. 3. Additionally, many people feel that there is often a 'Cultural' difference between the continents, making many suggestions from overseas less viable. The vision was therefore to make this system available at our end of the world, with Shadchanim and singles from our own communities... and thus was born SHIDDUCH.IM! The new branch of SYAS for the UK and Europe, offering the personal attention of a Shadchan in one's own community with a combined database of frum singles in our communities and beyond.




If I'm already on SYAS, do I need to join SHIDDUCH.IM?


If you are already on SYAS, there is no need to re-join SHIDDUCH.IM, as the system is all integrated. However, you now have the opportunity to select a Shadchan 'nearer to home' and select whether you wish to share your profile with Shadchanim on the worldwide SYAS network or only on the Europe-based SHIDDUCH.IM network.




Does SHIDDUCH.IM have a membership fee?


SHIDDUCH.IM currently has a free membership option. This includes having your profile on the database, receiving up to one match per week, ability to decline matches, and notifications about our amazing events. There is also an option to upgrade to a gold membership if you want a personal Shadchan (who would ‘actively’ search for you), priority listing to the many other shadchanim who are searching on the site, ability to get up to 10 matches per week and the ability to accept matches.




What happens after I sign up?


Once you sign up and have filled in your profile, it is important to choose a specific matchmaker to network for you and send you potential match suggestions. SHIDDUCH.IM has a number of Shadchanim specialising in different age groups and Hashkafos. To find the one you feel most suited to you, check out the “Our Shadchanim” section of our site and/or ask friends for recommendations. Many Shadchanim will arrange to meet with you to get a better idea of the type of person who would be compatible with your life values and personality. This is helpful for you to get to know your Shadchan as well as for them to get to know you. They will then search the database and send through profiles of potential matches for you to review which you then accept or decline through the system. When reviewing a profile, you are able to request references and make additional enquiries. Once you are happy to meet and have a mutually approved match, you are ready to arrange the first meeting. You may prefer to have your Shadchan arrange this first date (and subsequent dates if you are more comfortable with that) or arrange between yourselves. After meeting, you give feedback to your Shadchan as to how you feel it went, whether you’re willing to meet again or wish to close the match. It is helpful to mention to your Shadchan whether you felt the suggestion was on target or not – perhaps it was a great match in one area but not another, eg. Hashkofically you were in the same place but personality-wise it just didn’t feel right. This will help your Shadchan fine-tune future suggestions. Once a match progresses, you can give your Shadchan updates as to how it’s developing and/or ask for input and advice. If you require, your Shadchan may refer you to a professional ‘dating mentor’ for advice and assistance. It is also helpful to update your ‘dating status’ on site to let other Shadchanim know you’re not currently available eg. change your status from ‘available’ to ‘busy reviewing matches’ or ‘dating’.